📜 Caption :

I had to get it out before I could sleep peacefully tonight.

🪞 Reflection:

This image represents the beginning of my digital doodle phase. During this time, as I was dealing with the impending death of my relative, I was illustrating practically every thought and feeling that occurred in me.

This image is very much in line with my artistic practice of portraying pain as painfully bright, so bright that one experiences after images upon blinking.

It is commonly understood by most that pain is a dull feeling that gnaws at you, most people choose to portray or express pain as dark, gloomy, something that creates heart ache. While it is true that I have experienced pain in that form, it is more common that I experience pain as a sudden, shocking instance. The particular human condition that I was born with justifies this and having since learned more about what my body experiences I have learned to recognize more the full spectrum of awareness and emotion.

I should also note that during this time I was seriously starting to deeply reconsider my world views and my actions. I had lived so long in a state of automation, I would go to Work, come Home, Watch TV, Sleep, Wake Up, Eat, Shower, go to Work, rinse and repeat. While my life was stable at the time I had been craving chaos. The feeling was like water droplets slowly filling a cup.

Once the Lockdown happened and as the news kept reporting on the global deaths, increase in hospitalizations with a rapid decrease in resources, people fighting over toilet paper when most of us in the Western World are blessed with access to water and fabric, the justifiably racially charged unrest in the United States, I was just in a constant frenetic state. The automatic and blissful bubble that I had painfully crafted had finally burst. I felt like a helpless witness to all the local, national, and global affairs.

The shocking feeling of powerlessness completely consumed me despite the fact that all that I was witnessing could easily be expected if you simply paid attention.

I was wearing my housemates thin with my emotional state and level of awareness. I couldn’t help what I was experiencing, despite the fact that it was not the first time I had witnessed events of similar magnitude. Many people kept asking themselves what they can do for their world. Some were baking every day, some were immersing themselves in media, others were out providing care to their direct neighbors.

Despite the horrors unfolding it was a beautiful moment of humanity, humility and community.

I maintain gratitude for my housemates enduring my antics and for their support.

I decided to keep making art as that is how I felt I could help ease the burden of awareness.

I created the image for a popular exclamation during this time, that of “What the fuck”.

🖼️ Availability:

Digital image only, NFT pending, Print pending

🏷️ Tags:
#originalart #digitalart #ghost_of_color

©️ Copyright : Ghost of Color / Labrynia Alamonde / Fairy Boy / Ghostie Ghost / Arcelio C.